Fire alarms (n): annoying as hell objects that are as useful as paperweights until your french toast becomes a column of fire and then they beep very loudly until you turn them off by hitting them with a broom.
Bye bye my french toast! Today you went up in flames as I watched Shrek talk about cakes and onions. Oh the irony! And now I am forbidden near a stove, oven, BBQ, microwave, toaster, and any other mechanical or electronic kitchen utensils for 1,000,000 years. So says my mom. No matter! She will be the one to deal with raw eggs sunny side up, raw bacon, and raw pancake batter on Mother's Day morning! yum yum.

~Impulsive Compulsive~